She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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