So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
