failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
tequila makes me forget i have legs
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
