The maid of honor just puked.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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