My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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