wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
