windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
