Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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