Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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