i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
