frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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