i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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