2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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