That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
