i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
