We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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