nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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