this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
