i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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