Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize