The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
