I met the friendliest cop last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
