I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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