you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
