yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize