so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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