I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
