I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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