Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize