angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
