just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
