things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize