We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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