Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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