we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
