My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
