i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
