In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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