OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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