I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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