please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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