its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
