Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
