What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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