I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize