I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
