Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
