And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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