So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
