Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just high enough for therapy.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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