i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
