I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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