I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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