I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
