she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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