I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
