im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
