You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
