I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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