just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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