Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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