He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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